There Is Only One You

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

heodore Roosevelt argued that comparing your work, your life or whatever else will only serve to make you unhappy. How many times have we compared our lives to the characters from movies and tv shows? We compare ourselves to celebrities that we probably won't ever meet in real life. We compare ourselves to people we connect with online because we only see their highlight reel and forget they have real life issues behind their pretty photos. We even compare ourselves to our family members and friends. We always think someone has it so much better than us but we aren't fully aware of the price they paid for the life they now have.

When I talk to other single mothers or women that are relatable to me, I don't see my life as being better than theirs in any shape or form. Even tho we have one main thing in common, our paths are different while our initial stories have similarities. I've come far in my struggles as I've grown in this single motherhood! I was in my early 30's after becoming a first-time mother but my mentally was! I had to die to myself as I had a little someone depending on me for everything. I have selfish moments when I don't want to share my food with my son. I miss going places on my own just to get away. STRETCHED!!!

In late July of 2016, I desperately searched for Single Mom groups. Those groups appeared rare during my searching. I came across single/dating or married groups more than anything. Or it could've been the fact I was trying to find one centered around the Christian faith. Single Mom Community, now called Christian Single Mom Support Group, appeared on the sidebar of my Facebook page. I reached out to Latoya Edwards, who was one of the ADMINS at the time, and told her I was struggling finding my balance. My son was turning nine months and I was ashamed of my struggle with keeping God in the center. God answered my heart and prayers when He allowed me to see this group. I'd been searching on scriptures and any kind of documentation on how to make time for God when being a single parent. I knew of other parents in the Christian faith and in my eyes, they were doing it! They talked about God, prayed, read the Bible and took care of their babies. Many had more than one child so I was obviously impressed, yet feeling inadequate at the same time. It took me a minute but the Holy Spirit revealed a couple of things about those Christian moms: some were married and had the help of their spouses. Some had older children which gave the additional help. Point blank is that every mother’s journey is different and our family lives are NOT the same!!

I remember feeling defeated when I'd try to pray or read my Bible because on cue every morning, my son would cry! I'd start praying, he'd cry! I start reading, he'd cry! I was so focused on what I couldn't accomplish during my 'God time' that I forgot one important detail. Silly me forgot God looks at the heart! I obsessed over my disposition during my feeding time or rocking my baby, when all that time could've been spent praying to God in my spirit. Although I couldn't read my Bible right then, reciting scriptures out loud or to myself would've sufficed! So many other things I could've done that would've connected me to the Father while tending to my newborn. I saw my lack as a failure because I knew being a first-time parent would require my time with God to go deeper.

"Prayer is the position of the heart and not the position of your body!"

You don't have to be in a specific position to pray. For example, you don't HAVE to be on your knees.(Here's the logic that made me break that thinking.) What about people who are paralyzed or don't have legs? Can they not pray? Prayer is the position of the heart and not the position of your body! ~Genesis Dorsey

I came across this quote back in 2017 and how I greatly wished I'd gotten this revelation back when my son was a newborn. My heart was in position to pray and spend time with God but I was focused on my physical stature.

Heather Lindsey always talks about enjoying your portion. If we can remember to enjoy our own portion instead of comparing it to the portion of others or what we believe they have, not only would we be more content in our journeys but more confident as well. Talk to God when you can. Find a particular scripture to meditate on for the day or the week. Get into the habit of praying while nursing your child, reading to your child, change your baby's diapers, doing the dishes...whenever! The more we practice this, the more our spirit will be in tune with the Holy Spirit.

Reading Genesis' quote opened my eyes and removed much weight and guilt from my shoulders. We struggle to do it all but none of that matters if it's not good quality.

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